Written by Vivian Ennis on 6/10/2019
As the IV slips in, I still feel a stinging burn of the needle upon my skin. This is just a test, I tell myself to be calm; I’m told it will bring me no harm. The injection makes my heart beat faster, my pulse rises. I become so scared feeling the tears roll down my face as I begin to cry. This is not my first merry go round with surgeries and procedures. I’ve been through this before it’s actually more like my twenty ninth time of pain. With each time I go under, I think this won’t be so bad, but it seems to become worse and harder to be stuck each time.
Why is my heart forsaking me? I think to myself, can it please hold on some more? I have so many things in life that I have not done yet. I’ve already waited too long to start them and already have regrets. My heart is large in so many ways but this time the enlargement is not so good. Then I think the pain and all this is totally out of my hands. As I drift off to induced sleep I forget all about everything, but it won’t be long till I wake to the pain from things that happened to my body when I was not conscious.
Written by Vivian Ennis on 6/10/2019